You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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