They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
