I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
