i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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