I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
