He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize