wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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