they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
