doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
