i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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