Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
