Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
