oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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