i don't like sucking hair
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
