Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm getting married
To pizza
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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