We got so high we made milksteak
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
