covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
