I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
