If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize