Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
