I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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