i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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