why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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