I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
