i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
two words: eviction party
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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