I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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