I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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