Christians are straight up FREAKS
Me too!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
