He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
