I think I died a long time ago.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
