i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
