This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You're like the curious george of whores
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
