I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
