Where did you get a picture of my penis
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
