I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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