I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
