that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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