if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you still have your period?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
