Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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