He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
