I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
