we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
