so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
