my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the day after is always just damage control
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
