She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
