white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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