Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
