We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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