I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
