Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize