at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize