the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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