I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
