i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
