Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize