in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
