last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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