it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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