He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
