She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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